Andy: You know, it’s just that both those belts look exactly the same to me. You know, I’m still learning about all this stuff.

Miranda Priestly: This… stuff? Oh, okay. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don’t know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise, it’s not lapis, it’s actually cerulean. You’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn’t it, who showed cerulean military jackets? And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of 8 different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room…from a pile of stuff.

"This is the best part of the entire movie. I hope one day to have that amount of knowledge to own ANYONE who makes fun of being a fashion major."

Me too, then again I think I can own anyone in school. SPEWS OUT THE NAMES OF REI KAWAKUBO, HUSSEIN CHALAYAN, JOHN GALLIANO......SHOWS SMUG FACE AND MUMBLES "DEMODE ONES. YOU'RE SO SHALLOW, GARCON." AND SHOWS THE FACE OF THE LADY IN THE BACKGROUND IN THE FIRST PICTURE.

And so I shall create my own version of the story set in the ever-so-shoulder-paddy world of Vogue Paris...

THE STORY OF CARINE AND BALMAIN

Andy (who got transferred from US Vogue and got a little smarter): It's just that Balmain is just so....I dunno boring and overdone. No one in New York wants to wear this anymore.

Carine: Boring....You call Balmain boring. Oh okay, I see, you think that just because you have worked under Anna Wintour and got influenced by her Oscar de la Renta and Carolina Herrera-ish dressing that you think Balmain is boring. So you go to your closet and select out, I don't know, that Zara blazer of yours, and pair it with that grand-mumsy Oscar skirt because you are trying to tell the world that you are not a rocker-girl who loves to club every night and would rather sit on your couch and read Oscar Wilde poems and watch The Golden Girls. But what you don't know is that this Balmain jacket is not just any other jacket. These, you see are not the 80s shoulder pads, these are modern and pointy rather than broad and frumpy. You're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2007, Christophe Decarnin of Balmain reinvented the shoulder pads and brought Balmain back on to the fashion map. And then I think it was Dolce and Gabbana who started showing exaggerated shoulders, weren't them. And then shoulder pads quickly showed up in the collections of Givenchy, Phillip Lim, Calvin Klein, and Louis Vuitton. But ultimately it was Balmain, this Balmain jacket, which sparked a global trend of shoulder pads, and it filtered down high-street labels and departement stores and then trickled down to a so-called specialized corner of Zara and Forever 21, which girls are dying to get one of the imitation ones. And did you know that because of the millions of 'Balmain-inspired' jackets that were sold at Zara, that the company had money to be able to manufacture your normal looking blazer you have on, which you no doubt fished out of the sale department because you think it is just the right amount of grand-mumsy-ness for you. However, did you know that the people you are working for today are those who made Balmain famous? You see, Emmanuelle Alt over there, she is the stylist for Balmain and was the creator of the dreams of many teenage girls. And It was we who put Balmain in the pages of our magazines, fille charmante. That jacket represents millions of dollars and countless of jobs so it's sort of comical that you're thinking that this jacket is hideous when you don't even know that it was the people in this room who helped made it..........hideous. In fact, you're hired only because we get our major ads from Balmain and not.......Zara and Oscar de la Renta.

Trust me, I still love Carine and Emmanuelle (and the people at Vogue Paris, who don't support Balmain. No wait, that would mean no one but whatever), Oscar de la Renta and Caroline Herrera but I just think that Balmain is just......oh I dunno, boring. This story is mocking Balmain by the way, if you didn't notice that yet.