So before I carry on writing, I would like to first warn everyone of you who is reading this that these are my rants and thoughts because I'm feeling really emo (hate using this word) now and I need to get all of this shit of my chest. to feel better, that's something i usually do, except that used to be on paper a few years ago, and now I guess a blog would be much suitable. Perhaps this will be a teenage phase/mid-life crisis I'm going through and will probably laugh at way back when I'm older. I don't know. And pardon the grammatical mistakes, I'm in such a mood that I really need to get all of my thoughts out, so my brain is in a total funk, and doesn't really regard grammar as important.

Sometimes I do feel that writing on this blog is like talking to myself. I do feel that perhaps no one is even reading what I write. You know, what's the saddest thing that can happen to a writer? It is that of the feeling or knowing that no one is reading your works, the works that you have spent the entire night working on, sacrificing the time for your homework, for your studies. It just that simple. No one is acknowledging your works, no one is giving you recognition for what you have painstakingly done up. Sometimes I do have this feeling that why is this blog not getting the recognition it truly deserves. I've had mapped up all the reasons for this: I'm guessing all the successful blogs are about their style and outfits. Some of the most successful blogs are all about photos and pictures of themselves, someone else, something they see. I think that's what people actually want to read in blogs, no one wants to read your piece of junk, especially when you have no authority whatsoever in this field. Who are you to comment on whether a collection is good or bad, when you don't know how much hard work is put into every garment. I'm just too shy and awkward to post pictures of myself online. Maybe one day I will do so, but that day will be the day when I truly realise that I'm not doing all of this outfit posts just to get famous or what, I'm doing it because I know someone will look at these photos and get inspired in their own way, the way i do when I read blogs like StyleBubble or Fashion Bits and Bobs. I've to keep on reminding myself that what I'm blogging right now is not for the fame/recognition/fashion invites I could be getting. It's for my readers out there. I'm hoping that this blog will be a good source of entertainment, inspiration for you all and perhaps I will try to focus and work on this aspect.

Along the way of making this blog, I think I screwed up quite a bit. I've made unintentional mistakes that offended people on twitter, unknowingly pissed others off of what I wrote on this blog, and just offending and making enemies along the way. In a way, people start to ignore me, and just losing friendships when not knowing what happened. I'm thinking of closing this blog down and start all over again. But the thought of everything just gone to waste, all the hard work to make it successful it just too stupid. I don't know, I really don't. If people can start forgiving me and salvage friendships, perhaps my life will get better.

Oh god, now I think this sounds like a suicide note, but rest assured it's not. I'm hurt, but I'm still strong (but on the verge of breaking down), and I will never resort to means of ending my problems just that. Though I have thoughts of that before. I just don't get this competitive industry, everyone is vying to outdo one another. If only I could turn back time and go back to months back or even before I was born, and plead to God that I do not want to get into the fashion industry. Just anything else, just not something that can cause my life to turn upside down.

Sometimes in life, it's just too hard to grapple with things. It's just too complicated, too confusing, too stupid, too shitty and what not. Ok, journal entry is over. I do feel much better now and hope that dreams will make me happy. I guess I really do hate reality. Sigh......

I never did a CFDA post. I always wanted to predict the future. I like the feeling of me getting all happy and giddy in joy when my predictions come true. I want to do a CFDA post and so here goes.

Womenswear Designer of the Year- The award given to the women designer who has made outstanding contributions and has greatly influenced women's ready to wear. Or in short the best womenswear designer of 2010.

Nominees: Alexander Wang, Marc Jacobs, Donna Karan

Who will win: Alexander Wang

Alexander Wang won the emerging talent award for womenswear last year, and with all the hype going for more support for young designers, I'm predicting the CFDA will use this opportunity to give Alexander Wang even more publicity. The awards are of course also a great way of giving the designer and consumers greater confidence in his designs. And because buyers and editors have been hailing him as the next big thing, the award is perhaps a platform for Wang to up his game and take his brand to a whole new level. The CFDA had given Kate and Laura Mulleavy this award previously last year when they won the emerging talent award in 2008, so it is no surprise that there could be a double whammy for Wang too. And because Alexander Wang's Spring 2010 collection made me and many others fall in love with him, proving he can do much more than dressing teenage girls in model off-duty looks, it's only deserving to give him this award.

Who should win: Marc Jacobs

However if it were the spring and fall collections that this award is based on, Marc Jacobs would have an obvious edge over Alexander Wang. No doubt, Marc Jacobs has won this award before (way back in 1997) but because his collections for this year has been very consistent and very very good (overall better than Alexander Wang, it's just my opinion), maybe it's time to solidify his title as the best womenswear designer in New York. Well come to think of it, he is recognized and widely known as one of the best designer in the entire industry. There's no need to give him this award, after all he doesn't really care about the CFDA awards, doesn't he. And that's why he won't get the award. But he should.

Menswear Designer of The Year

Nominees: Michael Bastian, David Neville and Marcus Wainwright, Tom Ford

Honestly, I don't really talk much about menswear on this blog, and I think this is my second time or so doing it. It's true that I do not have much authority and my opinions on menswear do not carry much weight (like anything on this blog really matters, but back to topic), but I do follow menswear religiously every fashion week, though not as much as womenswear. For this award, I have my eyes set on David Neville and Marcus Wainwright of Rag & Bone.There's no doubt that David and Marcus of Rag & Bone and Michael Bastian are both great American menswear designer but perhaps, because the aesthetic of Rag & Bone resonates better with me, my hopes are placed on the former. Rag & Bone collection feels much more put together and they have a much more interesting, fresher and perhaps younger take on menswear. Which makes menswear a whole lot less repetitive and boring, which I do find it sometimes. But it will sure be sad for Bastian, who has been nominated three times including this year, if he doesn't win. (Tom Ford has won this award in 2008, and with his lack of showing during fashion weeks, I don't think he would win it this time round.)

Swarovski Womenswear Award - or otherwise known as the Emerging Talent Award

Nominees: Joseph Altuzarra, Jason Wu, Prabal Gurung

I'm predicting Joseph Altuzarra to win this award, HANDS DOWN, no doubt about that. Honestly, Jason Wu is boring (like old gowns and cocktail dresses boring), Prabal Gurung needs a little more time to get his goods together (but he is definitely good). Altuzarra on the other hand is quietly making waves in the industry, and his clothes are quickly gaining recognition among editors and following among buyers and the fashion peeps. He has been hailed as the new big thing and perhaps this award will be the American way of agreeing with this undeniable fact.

Swarovski Menswear Award

Nominees: Patrik Ervell, Richard Chai, Simon Spurr

Patrik Ervell Spring Summer 2010

Patrik Ervell Fall Winter 2010

The reason I'm placing all my hopes on Patrik Ervell is simply because, I like him. Yes, I like him. Isn't this what all these predictions are all about? It's hard to imagine that Ervell is a political science graduate from UC Berkeley, having fell in love with design after his stint at V magazine. I like his clean minimalist looks, but always with some sort of eccentric, creative streak in his garments. For example, his choice of fabric each season is always one to look out for. His spring collection saw the use of copper and rust (I think) as prints against an otherwise humble color palette of baby blues, mint green and khaki. For fall, Ervell chose to work with synthetic latex (with a buttery texture that is seriously quite insane) and transparent vinyl, seen on raincoats and scarves, fusing the minimalist designs of his with a soft unexpected gracefulness of these utilitarian fabrics. It was sweet controlled insanity. But let's not overlook his spectacular tailoring (which I like) and his aesthetic which is consistent throughout the seasons (which I like). It's something I would love to wear.

Accessory Designer of The Year

Nominees: Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough for Proenza Schouler, Marc Jacobs, Alexis Bittar

Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough for Proenza Schouler. Hello? Seriously does the PS1 and the upcoming (and I'm sensing a cult following) PS11 not mean anything. Who cares if they won the same award last year, I mean really?! And did you see those shoes for both Spring and Fall, KILLER!!!! I wouldn't mind wearing them even if I look like a tranny.