Alber Elbaz for Lanvin for H&M is basically a major turn off.

Right now, I have conjured up in my mind Lanvin's designer, Alber Elbaz, sitting in his bow tie printed wallpaper office, in his bow tie printed office chair, wearing the humongous of humongous bowtie (when I wear a humongous bowtie, I feel like I'm obligated to take the most ridiculous photos ever. Oh I think I did that! Note: see post below) giggling over the massive lines of people who have lined up to buy Lanvin H&M merchandise at the giant H&M stores even before the actual event. Alber Elbaz is giggling because he has gotten away with the biggest heist in H&M history (in this history, Kawakubo plays second fiddle for the first time), selling H&M quality clothes at more than double the H&M price. He is giggling because he has skillfully mastered the art of deception, giving due recognition to Lanvin's archives by mass producing it for the high street. To sum it up, Lanvin is making a killing. It's hard to say where the "consultation fee" might end up; Alber, Lanvin, or that rich Taiwanese woman who owns Lanvin whose name I can never remember. But it seems that sales for this collaboration might end up as additional funds for Lanvin's actual Fall 2011 or Spring 2012 show.

And these people, with all their camping gear and sleeping bags ready (fashion sources have told me that those who came a day early have even brought a week supply of baked beans), seem pretty psyched to be risking their lives and forgoing their dignity to be willing victims of this evil scheme. Alber Elbaz then looks down at all the miserable campers (though I can never ever picture Alber as Pierre Berge) and at the same time, picking up his shiny red telephone with a direct number to his fabric supplier (similar to those used by presidents to call presidents), and places his order for more tulle and silk. (You see, that's where your money went to. Here, "your" refers to those who are planning or have already punched three old ladies in the face and wrestled with desperate socialite wannabes in the process of getting that flower printed dress.) Alber then grabs each of these fashion-wannabes by the hair, threatens them with a knife to their neck and with all his chubby cuteness, hypnotizes them to hand over their money, and they then merrily skip home to blog “OMG I JUST GOT LANVIN!!!! EAT THAT SUCKERS!".

I don't really hate Alber, if that's what you're getting since you've started reading. I adore his work for Lanvin and I think he hasn't the tiniest bit of evil within his soul. But this is the designer who can drape cotton candy coloured tulle into cotton candy and can bewitch any woman that wearing a Lanvin cocktail dress in broad daylight (note: this is not during fashion week) is pretty normal. This is the designer who works with notion of " I have a problem with doing a collection that is a secondary line. I mean, you don’t want to be the stepsister. You want to be Cinderella. Show me one girl who wants to be the stepsister". This is the designer who can come up with sketches in a matter of seconds while others struggle to even draw a stick figure, and might have a successful career as a children book illustrator if he doesn't get the job at Chanel when our dear Lagerfeld can't dream his dreams anymore. He walks into a room, and editors bow down to him, and he curtsies.

The clothes aren't terrible. Neither are they awesome. I want to go under the tulle dress and look around and let the tulle brush against my very cheek. The price for doing so is 249 dollars, US. I also like the dust bag that comes with it. The only problem with the clothes is that they look very much like Lanvin. And by that I mean it looked like Alber specifically picked one dress from the archives of 2007-2009 that seemed like it could be replicated into thousands and did just that. The grouse I have with this collection is that there's nothing really original about it. Yet, it's still all very decent, jewel-toned dresses, ruffles, and leopard prints-they are all going to be sold out on opening day in an hour. But honestly, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at most of the pieces from this collection. It's difficult to accept that Alber would make clothes that look horridly cheap by the Lanvin standard. The usual aplomb that Lanvin ruffles now look like it was thrown off its throne and demoted to commoner status. It's like Cinderella in reverse. I also cannot imagine anyone going about their mundane human activities in a.......cocktail dress that definitely wasn't made for grocery shopping or fetching the kids to kindergarten. Were the dresses still sell? Yes, because Lanvin for H&M is the label whore version of the original House of Lanvin or even H&M for that matter.

Also, I cannot help but have a stinking suspicion that the "Lanvin Haute Couture" show was organized to mask how badly made the dresses were. Imagine a dress approved for production was modified so that it would be appropriate for Anna Dello Russo to put on and for editors to give their stamp of approval. I pity those who have bid on the dresses (yes, you can bid and pay thousands for a H&M dress, albeit slightly different), and then it dawns on them that-did I just buy a H&M dress for the price of an authentic Lanvin dress?

In the end, Lanvin for H&M is still a H&M product. I can't find the link on the Lanvin website to the Lanvin for H&M collaboration while this collection is unabashedly splayed out on the mainpage of the H&M US website. The collection, however mediocre, will still command legions and legions of desperate wannabes, even more than when Kawakubo was at the helm. So god bless whoever might be caught in the struggle to get a piece of the "Lanvin dream." And really, Alber has outdone himself-convincing people to get a H&M dress to fulfill their Lanvin dream is simply quite genius.

It's over. Paris Fashion Week is over.

It always happens every fashion season and it sucks.

As I write this review with the grunts of Serena Williams at Wimbledon in the background, it suddenly dawns on me that I've never really written much reviews on the Paris shows, ever in the history of this blog. Most of my time is spent on New York and Milan that by the time Paris Fashion Week comes, I'm too lazy to even think or translate these images on style.com to words. The never ending cycle of fashion weeks; it sometimes surprises me how editors can jet from one country to the next for 4 continuous weeks (or 3 sometimes, for the lazy ones), without feeling jaded or tired or in desperate need of a new wardrobe change or a good sleep in bed.

As such, Lanvin always get left out in this blog of mine, because it has this habit of showing in the later part of the week. I would never be able to get myself to write about it, despite how amazing each and every collection always is. (GODDAMN IT, Lanvin please revise your schedule!) Amen Spring 2010 and Fall 2010 (who never really made it here), you hear me Alber Elbaz! And so I guess it's only right to write about Lanvin this time round, FINALLY.

My love for Lanvin goes right down to my roots and blood and name. For those who didn't know, I wasn't born with the name Lucas. Instead, my parents gave me a very traditional chinese name, that has and still is giving me a lot of troubles throughout my growing-up years. (Not many people, unless you're chinese, know how to pronounce this very chinese name, just like how no one ever knows to pronounce Meadham Kirchhoff or Ball-mane or even LAWN-VAH for the matter.) I can't believe I'm telling you this now and so here's a lil' short story. There was this time I decided to name myself 'Lucas' after Lucas Ossendrijver of Lanvin after seeing his menswear collection, if I'm not wrong, it was Spring 2010. (Before Lucas, there was Alexander, named after Alexander Wang but I didn't like it after some time. Ok, that was real awkward.) And there it happened, my name ever since. This has gotta be the most absurd thing you should have ever heard, and I too feel stupid and embarrassed for doing so then. I swear I'm not even making this story up.

Moving on, 30 degrees is not exactly the best temperature to piece together a two piece suit, or even to put on a long-sleeved shirt. Without doubt, summer is the most challenging season to look elegant, and the easiest time to look all relaxed, 'minimalist', or sloppy and lazy as you go down the spectrum. Mr Alber Elbaz had pointed out that this collection was 'the antidote to laziness'. In this case, one could either look at this season's clothes as 1) an answer to looking (somewhat) polished during summer, 2) or as a wardrobe option of a summer suit (not a swimming suit, mind you) or 3) one that suggests energy, and movement or simply, sports. Sounds perfect to me. The only time I really do exercise is during a weekly one-hour session of hardcore tennis training (just to keep the calories down). Even during PE lessons at school, I couldn't even be bothered to show any sort of enthusiasm and I really do dread any type of strenuous movements. Perhaps Lanvin cycling shorts will do the magic and provide the love.

This collection had a real sporty vibe to it, probably one of the more athletic collections that Lanvin has come up with. There was the spandex, in the form of tight, stretchy knits, some that were wrapped around the torso, resembling cocoons that of Balenciaga Womenswear Spring 2009. They look somewhat breathable (and that is because they are sheer), I hope. And there were the cycling shorts, the one sporting garment that the entire fashion industry seems to be crazy about and readily approves of as something you can wear outside of sports. (Credit goes to Marc Jacobs.) The peacoats were great, but what I thought really stood out was Lanvin's take on the parka. So great that it reminded me of capes that Dracula would wear and upclose, the plush fabric detail only made it more desirable. Somehow somewhere, that smell of the fabric (leather? canvas? jersey?) is lingering in the air right here right now. Across the Atlantic, a week since the show. Wouldn't this be perfect to hug to sleep and to sniff at?

Along the way, silhouettes shifted from tight to breezy and loose. It wasn't entirely sportswear throughout, let's be honest here, no one in the right mind would go out looking like a Tour de France cyclist. Elements of that easiness and casualness of sportswear were taken apart and fused with formal tailoring. This translated to slouchy suits, with the emphasis placed on the extensive use of innovative fabrics, that would make suits in summer seem acceptable and very wearable (read: comfortable). I think it was silk that these suits were made of, and it was nothing perfect. Don't get me wrong, the suits were nothing that of prim and proper, in fact it was light, almost weightless and was wrinkled and unfinished. There were the loose seams and the rough hems, and to be honest, I was not quite sure what Lanvin was doing here. It was complicated, perhaps messy sometimes and I find myself looking back and forth at looks, trying to 'get it'. I rather leave my doubts unanswered when it comes to Lanvin.

What I appreciated from the duo was the use of textures. It's hard to describe textures (especially if you haven't really felt them yet. DUH!), but thank god style.com provided the detail shots and gosh, have I been sent to textile heaven! There was some sort of quilted fabric used on the pants, and patch-worked square patches that looked like really bad primary school art and craft; those which sides were never glued properly. The best part of the collection was undoubtedly the last parade of floral suiting. They were more than just plain old 2D floral prints, these were cut from textured, floral embossed silk, probably the best fabric ever made. I think I will make a trip down to Lanvin when these arrive in stores. After all, these are the clothes that would be great to touch and to hog on for a few hours because you know you can't afford them and memories are great, aren't they? 3D floral prints, you just never know.

The thing to note about this collection was that from afar and from just the runway pictures on style.com, there was nothing really special about it. But the essence of this collection could be found in the detail shots. The detail shots and nothing more. If it was top money you were paying for Lanvin, then it was the best and ultimately the most innovative fabrics you would be getting. 

1. Alber was born in Morocco, raised in Israel and graduated from the Tel Aviv School of Fashion and Textiles before moving to New York in 1985, where he learnt his trade under American Couturier Geoffrey Beene.

2. Alber Elbaz first fell in love with fashion at around the age of four or five. He says "Sometimes the rush makes me not like it that much, because I want to have time to dream and time to think."

3. Mr Yves Saint Laurent appointed him heir apparent of YSL Rive Gauche, before Gucci Group bought over the house. Elbaz then joined Krizia as head designer before joining the house of Lanvin.

4. Alber Elbaz oversees every detail of the Lanvin empire, from the shop windows to the shoe boxes that come secured in a black bow.

5. Alber believes that his mother is his biggest fan and critic, but more often a critic. His favourite quote from her was that of "Alber, I wish you to be big and small. Be big in your job but remain small and modest in person."

6. Alber believes that his obsession with bow ties has partly got to do with them taking some attention away from his face.

7. Alber leads a very simple and basic personal life. He does not do much outside of work because he has very little time (he comes home at 10). But this, he believes, allows the mix of reality and fantasy in his designs.

8. He buys fabric for next season straight after his show.

9. But he all wants to do after shows is to lie in bed with PJ's on, eating soup and reading trashy magazines, watching movies and sleeping, just sleeping.

10. Alber thinks that relaxing is a dangerous time for him. "Fashion is all about working on adrenaline, and the moment you stop, everything stops with you." he says.

It is easy to pick apart the inspiration behind Alexander Wang's Fall/Winter '10 collection. Wang said he was thinking about tailoring, specifically Wall Street suiting, and also something much more liberal like the gypsies and nomads. The stark contrast between these two groups of people; one who made money; and one who stole money eventually became the starting point for the whole collection.

As with Alexander Wang, when he does a suit, it never ever comes out as a suit. Basically what Alexander Wang did for the classic bespoke Saville Row suiting was to completely Wang-ified it: which meant deconstruction and reconstruction, slicing apart the classic elements of mens suiting, ripping out the seams, chopping off the pockets, cutting out the flaps, and sewing them all back together into a Alexander Wang masterpiece. Something like a fashion jigsaw puzzle, in other words, but much more fun. In the end, what came down the runway were a group of sexy "deformed" creations: pinstripe jackets morphed into dresses, jackets that were cropped and split just above the ribs, the midsections of jackets being completely ripped off, and the entire ends of the suit (complete with pockets intact and blazer buttons details) were cut off to form the skirts and shorts. Good man (would you really call Wall Street bankers good men?) gone terribly bad girls, you would call it.

The idea of the classic suiting inevitably segued into evening wear. Elements of classic suiting such as pinstripe wool and pocket details of a blazer were incorporated with lace into a dress, while pearl-embroidery, lace and lots of velvet were seen on other dresses. It was as though Alexander Wang had decided to go into unchartered territory and had challenged himself to do something new and different, as seen by the experimentation of draping for the closing dresses. Very Lanvin-esque but with the bad boy appeal of Alexander Wang, the dresses will prove to be a hit with the Wang-fans who are growing to be more and more sophisticated.

This was no doubt a very brave and innovative collection and Alexander Wang has proved that he has no doubt what it takes to stand up against the biggest names of fashion.

I'm proud to say that I can draw as well as Leonardo Da Vinci and can produce the Mona Lisa with my eyes close. Then, I get back to reality and stare at my sketches which look like the doodlings of a five year old. Wishful thinking.

Marc Bohan for Christian Dior

James Jean for Prada Spring 2008

Christian Lacroix

Giambattista Valli

I somehow do love these sketches. The alien heads are weirdly pretty.

Versace

These are apparently done by illustrators for Versace and not Donatella herself. Nevertheless, they are gorgeous.

Nicolas Ghesquiere

I love how simple these sketches are.

Alber Elbaz for Lanvin

I love how Alber just draws only the eyes and lips. I'm strangely comforted by the fact that I draw like Alber. Hee hee.

Images via TheFashionSpot